"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.
The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Corinthians 5:17
I was attempting to organize my photos of my flash drive and came across the picture above that I took last Spring and it immediately brought to mind 2 Corinthians 5:17.
I thought for this blog, I'd share a little from the beginning of my testimony.
I grew up in a home where my mom took us to church everytime the doors were opened. I'm grateful to her for that. My mom tells me that my dad didn't start going to church until I asked him to come along one Sunday. Growing up in church I think I said the sinner's prayer every Sunday because I was so afraid that I wouldn't go to Heaven when I died. It was just empty words brought about from fear.
Middle school was a tough time for me. I became easily influenced by those around me. I was caught up in trying to be one of the "popular" kids and my biggest (and only) desire was for people to like me. All this seeking and desiring eventually led to depression and a feeling of worthlessness. There were many nights where I sat in my room and considered hurting myself - just to see if anyone really cared.
When I was in the 9th grade I attended my first DiscipleNow weeked called "Meet the Man". That weekend I remember going down to the altar and kneeling during one of the worship times. I felt completely tired of being depressed and having no joy -- that's when God clearly spoke to my heart that I wasn't saved and as many times as I'd said the sinner's prayer, I had never really meant it with my heart. I asked Jesus to come and live inside my heart and take over that night -- and I knew when I got up from my knees that I was a child of God. He had filled me with such an amazing joy and had lifted all the burdens that had weighed me down for so many years.
This is my life verse:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11
Although my life is not what I had always expected it would be, I still cling to my Jesus and the promise He gave in the verse above. His plan for me may not be marriage, and it may not include kids -- but I take great comfort in knowing they are His plans and He knows what's best. {The previous statement, by the way, is so much easier said then lived}.
There's a song from a few years ago that says, "Spend me for Your glory". I want to be able to honestly and confidently say this. I have to admit, I'm not completely there yet, but I desire to be -- and that's a step in the right direction, right?
Oh, Becca! I had no idea you felt that way in middle school. Of course, I don't think anyone knows what middle schoolers truly feel...even themselves. Middle school (and high school, for that matter) was such a hard/weird time for me too. Isn't God so good? I'm so glad he loves even us weird ones. :) Thanks for bearing your heart & sharing. I really enjoyed getting to know a little more about you on a "Sister" level. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks Kristen for the kind words. I think middle school and high school are difficult for kids because at that stage in life EVERYTHING is full of drama and seems like a huge deal at the time.
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying this blogging thing (reading and writing them) and getting to know others better through them. Makes me have regrets that I didn't make more of an effort in friendships while in high school.
You go to FBC Loganville, right? Do you guys have any ladies bible studies (in the evenings) that are open to the community? I'm trying to find something like that for me.